Her destiny is changed:
she now seeks Thee
on this plane of humanity,
of duality.
Thou asked her for so much.
To love unconditionally in the places where there was
none
of
Thy
light.
Thou asketh her to love herself first.
How does one love oneself with
the passion and the purity as Thou dost?
How does she keep her soul intact,
her dreams alive,
her love a never-ending source of comfort and softness
to those who seek her out?
She walks to Thee barefoot…
on the sands of Kerbala…
on the sands of Turkey, Egypt…
all over the world she seeks Thy face.
She walks to Thee in trepidation,
for she is nothing as You envisaged.
She is broken, she is mangled,
bits of her being are still embedded in the hearts of others.
She needs release… she cannot find it.
Please bring her back to the place she calls Home.
Take her back into Thy arms…
she finds great comfort there.
Thou art the only recourse when all else falls away.
Why is there such Separation,
such Emptiness?
I ask Thee, of my free will,
to bring me back to Thy pathway,
to prostrate to Thee on the muddied turbah that brings my heart such peace.
Ala bi dhikrillahi tatma’3inal quloob…
Your child seeks Thee, surely you cannot deny her her home again?
Surely Thou art the Merciful,
the One who brings her to Thou holiest of places and
anoints her
with the powder of Holiness,
of Sanctity…
Of Purity.
She seeks to become
Taherah…
Zaahidah…
Saajedah….
Deny her not.
You did not deny those who love Thee, nor those whom Thou loves….
How can you deny the sinner, the wretched,
the unoriginal, the blind,
the slave to man,
the one attached to this world and all the illusions?
The ignorant are in more need of Thy love than those who know.
I walk to Thee barefoot.
may I soon fly to Thee with glistening wings of light…
This is not what I had thought my pathway would be.
Allah… ou-es Toi?
And Who Am I?
